Parenting Related Concerns

The only thing all parents share is the fact that the arrival of a new baby, babies, child or children is one of life’s greatest and most significant events and the experience of becoming a parent is always deeply personal and unique. It can be helpful to think about how all parents will experience being a parent somewhere on a continuum from a feeling of ease too unease. It is normal not to struggle and it is normal to find things really difficult, it is also possible to find parenting feels different over time or with different children; importantly if you are finding things hard then we are here for you and your family.

How are you?

• Are you finding your role as a parent difficult, challenging and stressful? 
• Do you find you are doubting yourself and feeling not good enough a lot of the time? 
• Do you often feel upset, overwhelmed and lonely? Maybe the words prenatal depression, postnatal depression, postpartum depression or perinatal depression are present?
• Do you sometimes wonder what’s happened to your life, your identity and who you are now that you are a parent? 
• Are you finding it hard to adjust to all the changes that the birth of a new baby or the arrival of a new child can bring? 
• Do you often feel you should be happy and feel lucky, as everyone keeps saying, and yet you don’t. You often wonder if there is something wrong with you? 
• Are you struggling in your relationships with your baby, children, partner, wider family or others?
• Do you find you have difficult thoughts or feelings about becoming pregnant or events or the situation around pregnancy, giving birth, feel traumatised from childbirth?
• If having children has required treatment, surrogacy, fostering, adoption do you sometimes struggle with your thoughts or feelings about that?
• Is your family structure one that brings its own unique challenges for example having a mix of shared biological, step and adopted children, being same sex parents, single parent or maybe joint custody or other voluntary of legal situations exist?
• Do you worry about having an only child or having too big a family? 

Parenting experiences

All of the above are very common feelings, thoughts, questions and experiences for parents. 

For new parents it is really common for there to be a difficult period of adjustment where everything is different and there is so much information to take in and learn. All these changes are happening at a time when parents tend to be sleep deprived, emotional, frightened and feeling vulnerable.  It is very common and ‘normal’ to feel emotional and overwhelmed, maybe a sense of losing control after the birth or arrival of a baby. 

There may well be trauma whilst giving birth with many women having PTSD symptoms after birth and feeling shocked by what’s happened and by the changes which have taken place in their lives since the birth of their baby. And depression and anxiety can affect parents during pregnancy and or after childbirth.

We sometimes feel that we’re not allowed to express our real feelings but must be happy as everyone expects. Many mothers also feel like failures because they didn’t have the sort of birth they wanted, they find breastfeeding difficult or they feel like failures as mothers because they’re not able to live up to their own very high expectations. Meanwhile partners and other family members can also struggle with feelings of failure as their attempts at helping and supporting do not seem to be working. 

Many people feel like this throughout their parenting journey as their child moves through the different developmental stages of their life: babyhood, toddlerhood, young child, older child, pre-teen, adolescent. At every stage the challenges and the goalposts move and we all have to adjust and learn how to manage our child’s brand-new developmental stage. 

If you feel like this, you are not alone. Things can settle down and you can adjust and feel more in control of your life. That may last for a while until the next stage, but by then, especially with the help of some therapy, you’ll be more used to the challenges of parenting and more familiar with your own patterns and issues. You will also have learnt some helpful tools and techniques to raise your self-confidence.

Counselling and Therapy - What to Expect?

Many parents have found that talking to someone experienced, independent and non-judgemental who is outside of their situation, can be very helpful and supportive. Someone who can hear you and has heard many parents talk about their feelings and thoughts. 

It is important that you know that you are not alone and that the emotions you’re feeling and the thoughts you’re having are normal.

When you come for therapy and are able to talk about the emotions and thoughts you haven’t shared with anyone else, maybe because of feeling embarrassed or ashamed, you can feel great relief. 

It can feel like a weight has been taken off your shoulders and it can also break the sense of loneliness and isolation you may have been feeling.  It can be such a relief to verbalise your thoughts and feelings in a safe, confidential space. 

It’s important to add that you can bring your baby along with you to the therapy. Or if it’s easier and you prefer it, the therapy can take place online, on Zoom, so you can stay in the comfort of your home.

We are here for you 

Come and speak to one of our experienced, non-judgmental team of counsellors and psychotherapists who specialise in supporting and helping parents at all stages of parenting.

We also offer parenting consultations to those parents who would like to know how to manage specific difficulties and issues with their children in a better, healthier and more constructive way.

Therapists Specialising in Parenting Related Concerns:

Marybeth Mendenhall

Adriana Amorim

Monika Smolar

Evangelos Raptis

Cris Prade

Elspeth Scott