What is it like to have a Personality Disorder?

Living with a personality disorder can be a challenging and often exhausting experience. Personality disorders are mental health conditions that impact the way people think, feel, and behave, making it difficult for them to maintain healthy relationships, control their emotions and impulses, and cope with everyday stressors. In this article, we’ll explore what it’s like to live with a personality disorder, including how it affects your relationships, your self-perception, and your daily life.

Perhaps the most striking aspect of having a personality disorder is the way it affects your relationships with others. People with personality disorders tend to struggle with intimacy, trust, and emotional regulation, which can lead to difficulties forming and maintaining close friendships, romantic partnerships, and even professional relationships. For example, someone with borderline personality disorder may struggle with intense mood swings, impulsivity, and a pervasive fear of abandonment, making it difficult to maintain long-term relationships or establish stable trust with others.

People with personality disorders may also struggle with feelings of intense loneliness and alienation, even when surrounded by supportive people. These feelings stem from the fact that people with personality disorders often feel like they are fundamentally different from others, and struggle to connect on a deep and meaningful level with the people around them. This can lead to feelings of despair, hopelessness, and a deep sense of disconnection from the world around them.

Another defining feature of personality disorders is the way they can impact your self-perception. Many people with personality disorders struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, and self-doubt, which can take a significant toll on their mental health and wellbeing. For example, someone with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder may struggle with a debilitating fear of making mistakes, which can lead to a rigid, inflexible approach to life that leaves little room for creativity, spontaneity, or joy.

At the same time, people with personality disorders may also struggle with a pervasive sense of emptiness, as if they are lacking a core sense of identity or purpose. This can lead to a cycle of self-destructive behavior, as people with personality disorders may engage in risky activities or self-harm in an attempt to feel something, anything, in a world that often feels empty and meaningless.

Living with a personality disorder can also impact your daily life in more practical ways. Depending on the type of personality disorder you have, you may struggle with a range of symptoms that can make it difficult to get through the day. 

Personality Disorders are often brought to therapy. Everyone's experience of having a personality disorder is unique and in therapy it is possible to seek greater understanding of the dilemmas encountered and reflect on the possibilities for change. Personality disorder therapy ends when change is fully integrated.